Camila Esguerra and FilBo, a relationship that has no bad time

The first time I saw her was when I was working as a bookseller in zone G. As soon as she came in, one of my colleagues said, “It's Camila Esguerra.” I, honestly, had no idea what he was talking about. I thought she had very beautiful hair. That's all I ever noticed. She came with a travel suitcase and talked to her friend about her arrival in the city after I don't know how long and having been in I don't know where. I was on the second floor of the bookstore, in the record room, when she asked a question: “Can I change in that room?” I kept looking at her with the face of not understanding what she was asking me. I understood, but it seemed strange to me that he asked me if he could change clothes in the event hall. “I don't have the keys,” I said. She told me that she didn't want to go into the bathroom because she didn't like it and asked me if there was a camera in that corner, next to the living room. “There isn't there,” I said. “How nice!” , he said, and then, suitcase in hand, went to change. Her friend was watching and I turned around. My partner looked with amazement. “Ready!” , she said afterwards. He came out with other clothes and his hair was just as well-groomed. “Thank you very much,” he told us, and he left.

What was my first impression of Camila Esguerra? I didn't even have time to think about it. It was just... very her. I would not have thought that I would find her again in an equally unforeseen situation. “Could you help us introduce it?” , the people of the publishing house asked me, a year later, at the 2019 FilBo. “Well,” I said, and I hadn't even read his poems. A few days later, we were there, in front of a lot of people. There wasn't a single person in the room. And my interview began. She looked at me with the face of “Please don't ask me hard questions.” Now that I remember, I may have put her in trouble on more than one occasion, but she knew how to get along. Camila is a good reader and, with discipline, she will be a very good writer.

Regarding the new edition of the Bogotá International Book Fair, in which she will participate, I recall that conversation in which I ask her about her first moments as a poet, her experience with the first book, and her readings. His relationship with FilBo doesn't have a bad time. Here, one of the beautiful ones that emerged.

What was it like to edit the first book?

The first book, for me, was a challenge. I thank Alejandra Algorta, my editor at Cardumen, because it was thanks to her that I was able to make those poems concrete. I'm usually a perfectionist and I didn't want to let go of anything that I didn't think I was ready. She gave me that peace of mind that the book was ready and I had to let it go. They say that no work of art is finished, only abandoned.

How do you conceive the relationship between your music and the poetry you write?

It's a pretty close relationship. I don't have to choose between either of them. They're part of me, my two halves. If I left one of the two, the other wouldn't exist. They feed each other. For me, art is a conversation. Books are conversations, between countries, between eras. Conversations guided by writers and their conceptions of the world. Music, I think, works that way too. With all these conversations it is possible to see where the questions are and where the answers are.

Is there a difference between who you are as a reader and what you propose as a writer?

That is a difficult question. Why are you doing it to me? Well, I still like it. It makes me think. I can say that the reading Camila is somewhat capricious. I'm never reading a single book. I have them everywhere, near me. Under the bed, on top of it, on the pillow, on the table, in my whole room, also outside it. I'm taking what I think I need at that time. I'm abandoning them for the same reason. I take them because I feel they have something to say to me and I leave them aside because I think they already told me what they had to say to me. I am very restless in that regard. Sometimes, from taking one and leaving the other, I forget where I was going and I have to start over. With writing, it was the same at first, but I had to organize myself. I stopped writing in different Word documents and began to gather everything into one, with the intention of finding some sense of it. Contrary to what happens with my readings, when I write a poem I try to give it the time it deserves. If it is not enough, it will be little. If it is a lot, then what is needed. This is a process of writing and revising that does not end. That was why my editor was useful and necessary. I wouldn't have made it.

What are the authors, in the midst of your many readings, that have most moved you?

Franki Elliot is in first place. It was his poems that changed my relationship with poetry. It was a little hostile before. With his work, my mentality changed. I used to think that only someone too learned had the ability to do so. I realized it wasn't like that. Poetry is everywhere and must be understood by everyone. With her, the door opened for me and I discovered authors like Milan Kundera and Cristina Peri Rossi, who I love the way she portrays the experience of being a woman. I can't leave Darío Jaramillo Agudelo aside. I love him. For me, these authors end up giving me a safe space to which I can always return.

What does Camila Esguerra have to say about what she does? What is your engine?

I think it's all about love. I can't say it differently, as a good fan of The Beatles. I firmly believe that life should be spent at the mercy of love, not in love, but always falling in love. Maybe that's why I write.

Three books that have marked you.

The Barca of Time, by Peri Rossi; Select Poetry, by Jaramillo Agudelo; Love in the Time of Cholera, by García Márquez.

A writer you'd like to meet.

Dario Jaramillo Agudelo. I would like to sit down and drink coffee with him and talk about life and poems. I have a dedication from him, but I have not yet had the pleasure of arranging our meeting.

Camila for Camila, in a word.

Passion. It's what moves me.

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