A single mother, Li Meng raises her two-year-old daughter alone in Shanghai. But for society and the state in China, where births out of wedlock are very frowned upon, she is almost a second-rate citizen.
Like her, millions of women face condescending, even disparaging, glances every day. In addition, they suffer economic discrimination: only married women can benefit from social assistance linked to maternity.
When he became pregnant, Li Meng decided to have the child, despite the father's abandonment and the precarious life that awaited him.
Since she's not married, she couldn't even have maternity leave. The only possible option was to quit her job in real estate to take care of her baby.
“A lot of people wanted to dissuade me (from giving birth). My mother told me I was crazy,” recalls Li Meng, who uses a false name so as not to look more stigmatized.
“For her, it was something unacceptable in China for a traditional family like ours,” she adds.
Since 2016, China has relaxed its policy of birth control to reverse the drop in birth rates that threatens its economic development.
Couples can now have up to three children, but maternity leave and pregnancy-related medical coverage are reserved for married women.
Li Meng is not resigned. To assert her rights, she embarked on an exhausting administrative journey that took her from office to office.
“But it's like they're passing the hot potato,” he regrets.
In the face of repeated refusals by the administration, Li Meng appealed to justice.
- Hostility -
China has more than 19 million single mothers, including divorced or widowed, according to a report published in 2019 by a government-linked research institute.
All of them are in a legal vacuum, says Dong Xiaoying, a lawyer at the origin of a support network that advises them online.
“The law does not say that having a child out of wedlock is illegal (...) But it doesn't explicitly say it's legal either,” he says.
Combat is not just administrative. Many single mothers must fight against social animosity.
As a reflection of this situation, in 2017, the Ministry of Health judged that births out of wedlock were “against public order and good manners.”
When Wang Ruixi expressed his pride on the Internet last year that he raised his daughter alone, he had to endure a flood of slander. The woman left China and now lives in Europe.
“I can endure discrimination and insults,” he explains. “But I don't want my daughter to grow up in such an environment,” she adds.
There have, however, been some improvements. Since 2016, children from single-parent families can finally obtain a “hukou”, the marital status book needed in China to access public services such as education and health coverage.
- “It didn't do any good” -
Another element that can contribute to changing the outlook of power is the fall in the birth rate, which last year reached its lowest level in decades.
Condemning these mothers to reproach can lead unmarried and pregnant women to have abortions, aggravating the problem of birth.
Another single mother from Shanghai, Yu, who does not give her first name, has a two-year-old son and has also fought against the administration.
“Everything I've done has been useless,” he sighs.
The authorities even called his boss to complain about his insistence.
“We must fight for our rights. That way, at least, we won't have regrets,” he says.
Many women look with hope to the family story of the Sino-American acrobatic skier Eileen Gu, who was all the rage in China last month thanks to her two gold and one bronze medals at the Beijing Olympics.
The Chinese media quickly noticed her mother Yan Gu, who raised her daughter alone.
Suddenly, social media seemed to become aware of some evidence: single mothers can also educate their children to be successful in life.
For lawyer Dong Xiaoying, mentalities are progressing, albeit slowly.
“But it's impossible to change everything in one day,” he says.
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